The way men & women think B AKA What is a biblical marri

Again, we go back to Genesis to find the foundations of a marriage and then we also find the curse which (I don't like the word ruined here, it is too strong) frustrated marriage through he permentation of sin.

Needless to say, if you want to see he perfect mariage relationship ... look at THE ENTIRE PASSAGE of Ephesians 5:21-33 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%205:21-33%20;&version=31;).
I used to HATE this passage because it is one of the most AWFULY misquoted passages of the bible. You need to wrestle with this passage to truly understand.

My two things that I can clearly say from this passage though is:
1. I believe the harder part is set out for he husband.
2. I've heard numerous times of speakers at Women's conventions saying that if a man was ever able to TRULY act out this passage in his life then women would be throwing themselves at him. (Well, maybe a tad exageration. But the real statemen is that his wife would not have a problem with exercising the first part.)

I haven't read "Wild at Heart" because a speaker at a convention cautioned tha he felt it went extreme. But I heartly reccomend any man to read "Point Man", knowing that it is 50% for fathers but provides insights that will help ANY Christian man in his personal walk and his walk alongside others.

I couldn't agree more about the misquoting/interpreting/applying of Ephesians 5:21-33. I'm glad you started at v21 as well. For the complete context vv1-21 set the whole scene.

This is an awesome passage if preached well. Two fantastic sermons that come to mind are Simon Manchester and a Jimmy Crosweller sermon that blew my mind.

Some points when applying these verses garnered from the above sermons:

1. Each exhautation is made to the person alone. Ie the Husband to love etc, the wife to submit. They are not Husband make sure your wife submits, or Wife keep telling your husband he's not loving you enough. If the Husband is not meeting the requirements then its his spiritual issue. If the wifes not playing her role it is her spiritual issue.

2. The exhautations are not conditional. They are not wives only submit if your husband is loving, and husbands only love your wives if they are submitting. This is how we shine, how we glorify God, in our obedience.

If you read the "Five Love Languages" book it becomes very apparent just how hard it is to love someone unconditionally when they are not returning it. (Just a reflection)

Rayzed wrote:If you read the "Five Love Languages" book it becomes very apparent just how hard it is to love someone unconditionally when they are not returning it. (Just a reflection)

Ok, I havent read the book, however, It is not that difficult to love someone unconditionally when they dont return it... See, that's where the brain decides to get involved. Having been in two relationships now where i have loved & not been loved back, I gave them all my love - every little bit of my heart and soul that I had to offer, I gave them. It is possible to be so blinded by love.

Its like being blind to everything you ever knew, and thinking, that maybe, today is the day that they are going to return the love. And everyday, it doesnt get returned, you start to make excuses.

Its very sad in actual fact. Im not meaning that in a nasty or sarcastic way either. It is truly sad. Fortunately, with God, he loves us so much, that he enables us to have so much love for other people, when he loves us unconditionally. I guess its what you do with the love that counts. If you were to be in a relationship and it was all very onesided (talking from experience here) then its pretty cruel to keep stringing them along as one ex did to me. He never loved me, but loved the idea of having a girlfriend, so strung me along for months thinking that he did love me. - Being a christian, I understand that things need to be Godly, especially relationships.

anyway, thats my 5 cents worth...

There are the situations like you pose there mish, and there are also situations where the other person simply does not speak your love language. So, if you are a quality time person (which is me) then how you really feel loved is by someone sitting down and spending time with them, and really engaging. If your love language is touch, then all you want is someone to spend time touching you. Not necessarily in a sexual way, but feel loved by hugs and physical contact.

Someone can love you with all their heart, and not speak your love language, so you may not feel that love. It is a book that is well worth reading and one that I am sure saved our marriage not that long ago.